Monster
by LOTRRanger
Summary: He said he was a monster. I told him he was ridiculous. He said he was dangerous. So I told him he was an idiot. He said I was right. Now a series of drabbles.
1. Monster

_Ramblings With Ranger: I'm experimenting with a new writing style, so this is the product of wanting to experiment and a challenge by my sister. This was inspired by the song 'Monster' by Skillet. This features an OC._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Skillet._

Monster

It was the secret side of him he never let anyone see. He kept it caged, but he couldn't control it. He avoided intimate relationships of any kind. He _wanted_ to be alone.

It wanted out. It was scratching on the walls. In the closets and in the halls. It would come awake, and he just couldn't keep it in.

It would hide in his head. It would hide in his body, in plain sight. He _wanted_ to be saved. He _wanted_ this to end.

He could feel it deep inside himself. It was just beneath the skin. He _hated_ what he'd become. He _lived_ in a nightmare.

He was a _monster_. He knew it, the world knew it and made no qualms about telling him so.

He kept it hid under lock and key. He kept it caged, but he couldn't control it. He told me to stay away. He said the beast was ugly. He said if he let it out, it would tear him up. He said it could kill me. He _wanted_ to be saved.

But he wouldn't let _me_.

He is a contradiction. He wants to be saved, but he doesn't want anyone near him.

I told him I didn't care he was a werewolf.

He said I would in ten years.

I told him I'd known him for seven.

He said it's not the same thing.

So I told him he was being an idiot.

He told me I was being unrealistic.

So I told him I'd lived with a werewolf since I was born.

He didn't say anything to that.

Because I was right, and he knew it.

I wondered if he'd stop staring at me if I kissed him.

But I didn't have to wonder.

He must have read my mind.

"You're not a monster, Remus Lupin." I whispered.

He sighed.

"You're persistent, Charity Williams." Remus quipped.

I smiled.

He didn't feel like a monster then.


	2. It's Not Me, It's You

_Ramblings With Ranger: I do not own Harry Potter or Skillet. So this is a continuation of a series of drabbles I'm writing, all based off of Skillet songs. This particular one is_ It's Not Me It's You_. Takes place sometime after Monster.  
_

It's Not Me It's You

It's was all a horrible, horrible lie. It was a poison; a poison that coursed through my veins for as long as I can remember. It left me broken. It made me think that it was all my fault.

I thought I was a monster. I thought I was this horrible creature, not fit for any polite society. I thought I was the spawn of the dirt off someone's shoes. I'm a _werewolf_ for goodness sakes. I _am_ a horrible monster one night a month. But that doesn't mean I'm a horrible person the rest of the time.

It was all a _lie_.

It wasn't me.

It was the media. It was the supposed experts. It was the Ministry officials. It wasn't _me_.

They tried to make me small. They tried to make me think the worst of myself. They tried to make me fall. And they did. It all worked. All the stupid things they said and did.

But now I know the _truth_.

I'm not a monster. I'm not a creature of darkness. I'm a person, and my name is Remus John Lupin. I'm a good person. I'm intelligent, and I _can_ hold a respectable job. People _can_ love me. Charity does. She loves me with all of her heart. I know she does. I'm just like every other wizard.

I'm not a monster.

And that's the truth.


	3. Yours To Hold

_Ramblings With Ranger: I do not own Harry Potter or Skillet. This is from Charity's POV, before Monster. This is based of the Skillet song _Yours To Hold._  
_

Yours To Hold

I watched him walk through the crowded hallways of Hogwarts, sometimes without his friends. He would laugh. He would snort. He would grin. He would frown. He would roll his eyes. He would joke with his friends. But he wasn't _here_. He was somewhere, far away, here in body only.

I wanted to talk to him, to laugh with him, to be his friend. But I'm not a brave Gryffindor, I'm just a first year Ravenclaw who hides behind her books. He doesn't even know my name. But I know his. Remus John Lupin, first year Gryffindor.

Someday he'll know that I was always there for him, even if in spirit only.

I watched him stand there alone in the shadows, waiting for his friends. That's where he stands when he's alone. He likes the shadows. He's shy, like me.

He was hurting, I knew he was. I didn't know why. I wanted to help him, however I could. I wanted to give him a big hug and tell him that everything would be alright. But I don't.

Someday he'll know that I will always be there for him.

I'm waiting for the right day. I'm waiting 'till I catch his eye. Then I'll let him know.

I caught his eye.

So I gave him a hug and he blushed.

I smiled and he blushed harder.

"You looked like you needed a hug." I told him simply. He needs to stop blushing.

But I have a study partner now.


	4. Under My Skin

_Ramblings with Ranger: This drabble is based off of the song 'Under My Skin' by Skillet._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Skillet or Harry Potter._

Under My Skin

When I feel her close to me, it's easy to believe I'm not a monster. She makes me feel needed, wanted. When I feel her close to me, all my fears dissipate. It's as if my soul awakens when ever she's around.

When I hurt, she's there, comforting me.

When I bleed, she's there, healing me.

I can feel her.

I can feel Charity.

She's there.

Under my skin.

I'm becoming addicted to her.

I'm becoming addicted to all that Charity is.

I _crave_ her.

She is more than I can take.

Charity calms me, yet awakens a passion in me I did not know existed.

She is everything I am.

If I loose myself, there she is.

If I try to disappear, there she is.

Charity is _always_ there.

Under my skin.


	5. Never Surrender

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Skillet._

_Ramblings with Ranger: This drabble is from Remus' point of view and is based off of the song _Never Surrender _by Skillet. Awesome song.  
_

Never Surrender

I fought it. Every time, every full moon, I fought myself.

I fought it. Every second, every day. I fought my heart.

I was scared to see myself. I was scared _of_ myself. I wished I was someone else.

I wanted to surrender.

I wanted to give in.

I was tired of fighting.

I was tired of living like a monster.

I was tired of being dependent on another.

But I couldn't give _her_ up.

I was dangerous. I could hurt her. I could kill her. Worse, I could _turn_ her.

I did not deserve her. She deserved better.

I tried to push her away.

But she is stubborn. She did not leave.

I was my own worst enemy. I was afraid of _me_. I could not protect myself from me, how could I protect her? My love?

I wasn't who I wanted to be.

I was tired of fighting.

I didn't want to spend another day like _this_, surrounded, yet still alone.

Could I let her in?

Could I risk it?

Could I?

Should I?

She always helped. She was always there. She always listened. She _knew_. She _understood_.

Maybe I could.

Maybe I should.

I wanted to feel _better_.

I let her in.

I poured everything out. She listened.

I cried. She cried with me, _for_ me.

I trembled. She held me.

I began to fall. She caught me and held me fast.

Together, I stood.

She stayed by my side.

She stood by _me_.

She stood _with_ me.

She made me feel better.

She put me back together.

My Charity.

To never surrender.

Never.


	6. Last Night

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Skillet._

_Ramblings with Ranger: This is from Charity's POV and is based off the song _Last Night _by Skillet. This Never Surrender, basically, from Charity's POV.  
_

Last Night

He was scarred, body and spirit.

The world had been cruel.

Even at Hogwarts, among his friends, he felt the cruelty of the world.

He would joke about his furry problem, but his pain could still be seen.

He was still scarred.

He didn't tell me about his secret. No, I figured it out on my own. My own father was a werewolf, after all.

I never told my friend that I knew the truth. One day, I knew, he would tell me.

It would be when he was ready.

I knew.

I understood.

I wanted him to know he could trust me.

I wanted him to know that I would always be there.

I wanted him to know that I would be there, wherever he wanted me to be.

I wanted him to know that I would never leave.

I knew he was struggling.

I knew he wanted to tell me.

I didn't want to push him.

It would be in his time.

I could see it in his eyes.

One day, he came to me.

He came to me sadly, anxiously.

He came to me, forlorn and despairing.

I knew he came to confess. Came to confess his terrible truth.

He began to pour everything out.

I listened.

He began to cry.

I cried with him, _for_ him.

He told me this would the last night he would feel like this.

He told me that he didn't want me to see him cry.

He told me he was fine.

I told him he was lying.

I told him that this would be the last night he felt alone.

I told him that I would never say goodbye.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and held him close.

I held him fast.

He would never be alone.

Because he was my Remus.

Forever.


End file.
